Gallagher

Watermelon isn't his favorite fruit.

"I don't eat it for a living. I smack it."

And Gallagher's reasoning behind the choice is pretty gruesome.

"I think I chose it because it's the largest piece of produce. And it's like hitting a head. Red on the inside."

His Sledge-O-Matic and its victims are central to his routine. "When they first introduced infomercials, there was one about a food chopper called the Veg-O-Matic. I wondered why they didn't just smash it with a hammer. So, if veg and sledge didn't rhyme, I wouldn't have had a career."

You may have seen him outside of Home Depot. After Gallagher's first wooden mallet was stolen from his car in Miami, he took to remaking his famous prop several times a year in the parking lot of the hardware store. "If I don't I get to the airport an hour before to check my baggage, I have to throw it away. I do that a couple of times a year. Sometimes the baggage guys tell me they lost it. I think they just take it, but that happens a couple of times, too. So I probably make six or seven a year. But who wants a log on a hoe handle?"

The '80s were filled with Gallagher's prop comedy.

"I invented it and got famous immediately. My dad owned a skating rink, and I used to do skating routines. Comedy routines were very easy compared to skating routines."

In the finale of his act, tables are lined with containers of cottage cheese, cartons of chocolate milk, keyboards, grape soda, and, ironically, pound cake. "It's not what I want. It's what the crowd wants. I changed the world. All the amusement parks have splash rides now. Look at the Blue Man Group. Insane Clown Posse. Everyone was afraid they were going to get sued, but audiences just want to have fun."

Fun that involves cowering beneath a sheet of plastic.

20 years later, Gallagher is still touring the U.S. year round. Friday and Saturday, he's headlining Club H2O in North Charleston. Sledge-O-Matic in tow. His jokes these days focus on "gray areas," what he feels is wrong with America. "Boys that look like girls. Celebrities that are common people."

Gallagher's lived in Los Angeles for 30 years, but doesn't mind the travel of his gig. "I'm a creative person. I like to say I'm home between my ears."