'The Expendables' is so ridiculous it's good

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The appreciation of anything is necessarily constrained by the parameters of its definition.

A good cheeseburger is measured by the things that make it a cheeseburger, such as the ground beef, fixings and cheese. And you certainly wouldn't judge it compared to prime rib.

A beautiful woman is appreciated because of the feminine characteristics unique to her. The curve of her back or swing of her hips are not comparable nor disqualified by what makes George Clooney handsome.

And the same goes for action movies.

To say that "The Expendables" is a "dumb" movie is to miss the point. Of course it's dumb. So was "Rambo," "Commando," "Die Hard" and every other '80s shoot-'em-up flick producer Sylvester Stallone tried to emulate with his latest film.

Like those movies, "The Expendables" is completely ridiculous, which is what makes it totally awesome as blood, guts, fists and fire are strewn across the screen to create the most improbable fight scenes imaginable.

While most of the crowd at The Hippodrome downtown (the perfect place to see a movie like this) seemed to get a kick out of it, one friend complained about the corny dialogue.

I asked if he had ever seen "Cobra," Stallone's wonderfully bad 1986 cop flick in which Sly tells a bad guy before wasting him "You're the disease and I'm the cure."

Bad dialogue in these types of movies is crucial, and it was delivered in spades by an all-star, action-packed cast, including Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Terry Crews, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, Randy Couture and cameos by Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

If you're looking for fine art, Spoleto will be back next spring. If you're looking for an unapologetically goofy good time, go see "The Expendables."

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Switching topics, I recently took a flight out of Charleston and had a horrible experience.

Flying from Charleston to Washington, D.C., last week, I was first informed that my plane had been canceled a mere hour before take-off and then learned it had been reinstated at a later time.

No problem. These things happen all the time when traveling.

Then I learned that checking my luggage would be $25. Really? For just one item? Passengers can't at least check one bag and be charged for a second or third? Gee, thanks. How much will the peanuts on the plane be later, $20?

When traveling home, I arrived at Dulles International 40 minutes before my connecting flight only to be told that I must arrive 45 minutes ahead of time and would have to be rebooked as a standby passenger on a later flight.

After paying $25 to check my bag again, I was charged an additional $50 as a "standby fee" and was also told there was no guarantee I'd be getting on the later flight.

I then had to wait three hours, finally arriving in Charleston a good five hours later than I had originally planned.

As far as I'm concerned, Southwest Airlines can't arrive in Charleston fast enough.

Let's hope they make flying fun again.