It's a holiday at the office

The only thing better than a holiday that falls on a workday is a holiday that falls on a weekend so you get a day off of your choosing during the next week because, hey, this is America and we will try to come up with any reason possible to not work/drink beer.

I say this because earlier this week I worked on Monday (the observed Fourth of July holiday) and quickly realized that I should always work on holidays. Why? Well, for instance, you can ...

Get more done.

Tired of your colleagues constantly coming by your desk and asking stupid questions while your phone is ringing off the hook and your boss is complaining about how you haven't turned in any of your assignments when all you really want is a little peace and quiet so you can stalk your ex-girlfriend on Facebook? Well, you can do that on holidays. Which reminds me, you can also ...

Wear what you want.

Why wait for pants-free Fridays when you can rock the bunny slippers on a Monday?

Enjoy a shorter workday.

Wouldn't it be nice for a change to walk into the office and not immediately be faced the same stupid questions you always get like, "When are you going to turn in those reports?" and "You realize it's 11:45, right?"

Take longer lunch breaks.

Forget those boring two-hour lunches on the company credit card that your boss doesn't know about. Instead, on holidays you can use that same account number to have as many pizzas delivered to the office as you'd like while enjoying them in your beer helmet and "FBI (Female Body Inspector)" T-shirt.

Pretend to be your own boss.

One of the best parts of working on a holiday is the boss is typically out of the office. Which means it's up to each and every employee working that day to demonstrate the necessary integrity and work ethic required of the job just as if the boss was sitting right next to them.

HA! Yeah, right. KEG PARTY!

Have a little fun.

Build a cubicle fort or play some paint ball. The office is yours! You can even go into your boss's office and pretend to run the company, by which I mean cut the cheese in his big leather chair and then send out e-mails from his computer to other employees saying they're fired.

But the best part of working on a holiday is that nobody is there to laugh at you because you didn't remember that it was actually a holiday.

For reasons we're still unsure of, Bryce Donovan also writes two other columns each week: "15 Minutes with Bryce" on Saturdays and a Family Life column on Mondays. Reach him at 937-5938 or bdonovan@postandcourier.com. And as if that wasn't enough Bryce, you can also check out his blog "The Bryce is Write" or follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/brycedonovan.