REQUEST YOURSELF

Googling yourself is so three years ago.

Today, all the cool kids are friend requesting people with the same name as theirs on Facebook.

Photo Gallery

The many faces of Bryce Donovan

So many Bryce Donovans, so little time (to call the police).

OK, so all the cool kids are actually doing things other than using Facebook. Like sending out tweets, texting while driving and generally ignoring their parents. These days it's mainly just dorky people like me on there talking about how crazy last night was because I we ended up renting a movie I wouldn't normally watch and then staying up past 11:30 p.m. (NOTE: Right now, if you're going, "That's not true, I use Facebook all the time and I'm cool," then I'll give you a second to let things sink in. And 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Yeah. There you go.)

But cool kids, if you're reading this (I realize what an oxymoron that statement is.), hear me out. Friend requesting your namesake can be surprisingly fun and literally minutes of fun. That's because doing so teaches you all sorts of valuable life lessons like ...

• Your name isn't as unique as you thought.
• You're not the dorkiest person out there with your particular name.
• And of those people who are clearly bigger losers than you are, at least one will decline your friend request even though they probably have no business being selective.
• Speaking of the one who declined you, at some point you'll friend request them again thinking, "Well maybe they just accidentally clicked 'ignore,' " but no, they just don't want to be friends with you.
• For reasons even God doesn't fully understand, some people still like Nickelback.
• Somebody out there has your name in the reverse order. (Yes, even you, Joey Buttafuoco.)
• Your profile photo, which is a snapshot of you after you passed out doing a keg stand in college, is the most normal one of the bunch because it actually has your face in it, unlike everybody else's, which are of their children, tattoos, dogs, dog's tattoos, cleavage or Justin Bieber.
• There is at least one person with the same name as yours who is the bizzaro you. (In my case, there was one Bryce Donovan who appeared to be Asian, lived in England and didn't collect pogs.)
• At least one of your namesakes was born after 1995, or what you always often refer to as, "a couple of years ago."
• You get the satisfaction of seeing the following update on your profile page: "(Your name) is now friends with (your name)."

In closing, I'm sure there are plenty more reasons why you should do this, I'm just not drunk enough to remember them. So you'll just have to take my word for it. Friend requesting people with the same name as yours, while creepy, stalkerish and unhealthy, can be fun for the entire family!

Especially if you're looking for some good ideas for a your dog's new tattoo.

Bryce Donovan only had one of 10 possible Bryce Donovans accept his friend requests. Apparently they don't find the humor in this like he does. Reach him at 937-5938 or bdonovan@postandcourier.com.