Aha! I've got it! (Wait, no, that's just gas)

I'll never forget it.

I was a college senior faced with the unenviable task of dumping my then-girlfriend over e-mail. Now before you go judging me for breaking up in a non-face-to-face manner, know this: Her apartment was, like, six blocks away and it was really hot out that day. Plus, she didn't have A/C.

Anyway, in an attempt to soften the blow, I tried mixing in a couple of jokes to the e-mail. After a few minutes, she wrote back, not saddened by my message but rather saying: "That was the funniest e-mail I've ever read!"

Looking back on that moment, I now realize two things:

1. That was probably my "aha" moment. You know, that point when the light bulb goes off and you make some sort of critical self-discovery. For me, it was recognizing that my true calling wasn't making a bunch of money as a dentist but rather earning minimum wage writing jokes for a newspaper -- a medium synonymous with hilarity.
2. I'm pretty sure she was hooking up with half the basketball team.

The reason why I mention my "aha" moment is because earlier this week Mutual of Omaha stopped through Charleston as a part of its "Aha Tour '10" (I still can't understand why they didn't play "Take on Me"). The purpose of the tour is to film people across the country as they share their life-changing epiphanies. Obviously, they're not all as compelling as mine. Like the woman who talked about overcoming cancer or the guy who talked about helping out inner-city kids through his after-school mentoring program. Blah, blah, blah.

According to Jessica Henry, the woman who interviews anybody willing to share their moment in the company's 34-foot Airstream trailer, most of the stories can be broken down into one of three themes:

1) Follow your dreams.

2) Don't let your job define you.

3) "I just needed a five-minute break from my kids because, my God, they never shut up."

Henry is part of a four-person crew visiting 25 cities nationwide between now and the end of August in the hopes of finding folks with stories worthy of being used for one of their TV spots, which typically go something like this:

MAN: "And that was the moment when I realized that this" (points to oversize foam cowboy hat on head) "is probably what cost me that big promotion at the firm."

OK, so they usually involve somebody who's opened a nonprofit for the visually impaired or found a way to enrich the lives of senior citizens or something like that. But still. You get the gist of what I'm trying to say here.

In the end, I opted against sitting down and sharing my own personal story. Not because I didn't think it was interesting. I chose to not share it because I think it's unfair for a company to profit off of somebody else's sob story. Especially when that company is one my ex-girlfriend works for.

Bryce Donovan has also started writing a family life column every Monday. Reach him at 937-5938 or bdonovan@postandcourier.com. For more, check out his blog, "The Bryce is Write," or follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/brycedonovan.